I Am Not A Robot
Okay where did this I Am Not A Robot box at the end of filling out forms on the internet come from? Occasionally when I am filling out some type of information or order form on line, at the end of the process I need to mark a box declaring, clang, bop, boom, “I Am Not A Robot!” Why in the world would a robot be filling out an order form? Maybe while it is ordering a new book online about oh let’s just say, how to build a robot? Do these companies not realize that a robot can be programmed to project the fact that it is not a robot and mark the box that asks if you are a robot or not?
What about seeing the letters and numbers that are all squiggly and somewhat out of focus and then having to type what you see in the little box to prove you again are not a robot. These boxes are so good at what they do that sometimes you can’t even tell what is in the display. But lucky us, we get a second and sometime a third and fourth chance to type in the “secret” code. Again this could be done by a robot if the robot is taught how. Kind of like yours truly. Beep squeak clang!
Do you see the irony here? What if there was a note in a box at the end of a process where, say you are ordering ice cream to be delivered, on dry ice, right to your house—yum? In that note in the box you are asked to identify the numbers and letters in the box, so you fill in the box so you can get your double fudge brownie bit ice cream—just like you are a little trained puppy or–and here is the irony—you fill in the box just like you are a ROBOT!
Seems that the more we try to save our identity the faster we all fall into a sea of one-man-ship.
Ah you guessed it. I have devised a plan for us to try. We need to break the robotic nature of our computerized lives. So I woke up one morning and thought—“What if I didn’t check my e-mail all day?” Yes! That will let me feel more powerful than the box that tells me not to be a robot. So here is what happened…
First you need to get the lay of the land in our house. We do not have mobile devices to check our mail, the news, the weather, who’s on first… We have laptops. Two of them. We don’t share well so we ended up getting one for me and one for my other half. They sit on the same table where we have our meals. (I would call it the dining room table but that sounds so high fluting—it’s just the table where we eat.)
We don’t share a newspaper at breakfast, we e-mail each other things we see on the little screens that have invaded our lives. Yes instead of talking about the weather and what’s new in the news we sit mere inches apart and e-mail each other. Just think how far those messages have to go to get from my edge of the table to his edge of the table. Remarkable!
But on this one monumental day there would be no e-mail for me. In my planning I forgot to tell him that I was going no e-mail, cold turkey, so when he asked if I got his latest e-mail, I had to say no that I was going to go all day without e-mail. He just smiled and I think I heard a snort of a smirk as he turned away.
I made my little cup of coffee, actually my coffee is a mix of vanilla caramel coffee flavored stuff with a dash of caramel flavored nondairy creamer. Truthfully the only thing coffee about it is that I drink it out of a coffee cup! Just a little side line—moving on.
I pass the laptop and it sings to me with a plastic smelling breath, “Come on, check me. No one will know you did it.” I just walked past. I felt strong. I felt powerful. Like the world had been lifted off me. I carried my “coffee” into the living room, turned on the TV and began to fold a load of clothes that was piled on the couch. And it was there that I heard it. The sweet little flute that twittles when I have mail. I turned towards the sound. It was like I was being drawn to it. Without thinking I got up from the still to be folded pile of towels and underwear and floated towards that sweet sound… Just like a ROBOT!