The Brush Off

There was a time when men used something called Butch Wax in their hair. It was this pinkish wax that was put on with a plastic rectangular brush that was held in the palm of a hand. It made buzz cut, flat top hair stand up to hurricane force winds and gave all the pillowcases an oh so lovely greasy glow. My mind went there the other day when I decided it was time to buy a new hair brush. Seems like an easy thing to do. Oh sure, sure. Well here’s the story. Wait let me first preface it with this; why is it that what should be an easy straightforward jaunt always seems to turn out to be a marathon? It can’t be just me.

I took a look at my hair brush when I was cleaning it. You know digging the last hair out and finding fuzz so you dig at the fuzz too. Then you realize it really needs to be thrown in the washing machine with the next load. I assume I am not the only one who washes a hair brush in the washing machine. Oh I have tried to wash it under running water in the sink, but it just doesn’t get all the “stuff” off the bristles. The plastic bristles as I have only had plastic bristle brushes.

Buying a new brush doesn’t happen very often. I mean only when you finally notice that there are more broken sections than there are standing sections do you put, “new brush” on your list. Right next to new underwear. Yes like we all get new underwear on a schedule. Don’t kid yourself. My mother was right when she told me when I got married to buy new underwear because it was something that wasn’t going to be a high priority thing for the next umpteen years. Let’s pull ‘em up and be moving along…

So I threw my brush into the wash and it came out in three pieces which facilitated me to buy a new one. This should be a snap. Well as they say; the best laid plans… Ok, so when was the last time you bought a new brush? I don’t remember so it was a mild shock to see that there are more than just a few choices. There are small ones, big ones, square, rectangle, and then there are round brushes. I can just see me with a round brush. I have a hard enough time trying to untangle my hair from a curling iron, I can’t see me ever making friends with a round brush. That is just asking for trouble.

There are plastic bristles and rubbery ones with little red dots of plastic melted on the ends of the bristles. Then there are metal bristle brushes that make this twang sound when you run your hand across them. I don’t need to play my “dog has fleas” on my brush so the musical one didn’t interest me. I have a hard enough time playing the radio!

Then you move up to natural bristle brushes. Very nice I must say. Soft but not too soft. Nice padded backing behind the bristles and a pretty wooden, solid handle. It was when I was looking at this one that I happened to take a look at prices. Oh my stars and garters! I am so out of the loop. Just when did a five dollar hair brush become a fifty dollar hair brush? I had to look twice to make sure there really was an extra zero in the price. Yep, 50.00, not 5.00. Wow! So no natural bristles for my head. I moved down to a lower shelf.

After looking at about a dozen different brushes a sales girl asked if I needed help. I said I wasn’t sure what I needed, but I needed something for long hair—and I didn’t want to mortgage my house for it! She looked at me and smiled a knowing smile. She had seen the fifty dollar surprise look before. She moved me to not only a lower shelf, but the back side of the display. There I found a nice, for long hair, take out the tangles without tears brush that mothers buy for their toddlers-for only $11.95. Sold!

Yes even though it’s for children I like it. It is plastic, pink, machine washable, and as an added bonus it had a warranty. Really a warranty, for a year. I went to pay for my new brush and that same saleswoman asked me with a straight face, “Do you want to buy the extended warranty?” If that’s the loop I am out of? I will continue to color outside the lines!

Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Share with her at itybytrina@yahoo.com. Really!